This poem was written for my Father, shortly after his death on Feb 21st, 2016
Sometimes in life there’s a feeling of falling apart
feeling like every straw pulled is pulling straws that are too short,
Dark circles around weary and stressed out eyes, seem to do nothing but let tears fly
and all you want to do is curl up with blankets and cry
Know that at least you are here – pain pulls you from the past back into the present
take time to feel the loss, the emptiness, and wear the black shroud
No matter how life goes – it goes on – right now.
The world should stop, and the clocks should freeze,
All the world should feel that cool mourning breeze.
Relief from suffering, took away the pain,
all aboard a long, long-distance bound train.
That piece stood with me – I didn’t know it had legs.
Earth angels surrounded and assisted for hours
They helped when teeth were grit and hands fumble for flowers
Hurt the heart and forced new start
but never got to take that deep breath…
The sky is still blue – absurd.
White candles still burn. People still work. Houses still a mess.
Everyone still bustles with work related stress.
The world can not, and will not stop – to take a deep breath
Pause, to feel its loss, for the one who took the largest step…
We just carry on.
Rough transition is not something I am stranger to,
Assist and persist, gather strength within the many
Continue to listen and help all while earths spinning.
Do as thou wilt shall be the whole – love – compassion – is law.
Love is patient, love is kind – All has to do with how you house thoughts in the mind
Sit with tears when seeing a picture,
hearing a song or looking at that vase
Every day since – wondered the mind maze.
Each candle lit goes out in its own time – each day is a bit more sublime
Instead of the negative, remember only good times.
negativity, arguments and fighting are all of this ego plain
and don’t last past that transition train.
Remembering that the gift of my hard-headed but strong nature,
vast ‘cursive’ vocabulary and take-no-shit point of view that I cherish
among other human traits taught to do better – all stems from you.
Do it with passion, and do it well, or do not do it at all.
Butted heads in my years of growing
Managed to completely change that relationship and spoke each day,
even if all it was was a blue heart on a cell phone and “hey”
I know there’s no “leaving” – it’s bred into my bones
from a young child I know any kind of energy – never goes.
Diminished ego, working on all I can to ‘see’
The perfection of spirit, earth has for me
when young, was blind and unable to hide an otherworldly fear
Took in others per-conceived notions and disregarded my own true knowing for years .
I could write forever with tears in my eyes,
rhyme these words and feel confined,
I started a new life and I never got to tell you.
So now I’ll take a deep breath for you every day of my life – stop –
Replenish the heart, satiate the mind
Code blue was not an end, but a first class flight back into the world – undefined.
Deep breaths – we’re breathing – I’m proud to be of you.
With filled lungs, able bodies we’ll step foot into the abyss
One million heart beats beating – and none in distress. ❤