I had never seen anything quite like it. Walking into the dimly lit room, ready to relax on the couch with a cat or two and a glass of dry red wine. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that relentless hag. Lingering outside my window like a thousand tear stained nightmares, beckoning me to just come outside. To let my spirit flow to her.
The longer I stared in her direction, the more pronounced her features became. Wild flowing hair, straggly as seaweed in shallow water moving with the ebb and flow of the tides. Her eyes, tiny holes for which I know could see me, penetrating my soul and seeking my inner torment. I looked away and tried to forget that image, but I found myself watching her lingering transparency as I stared fixated on the tv commercial. I could feel her fingers in my hair and her whispers in my ear. Sip the wine, I told myself – pet the cat. Why won’t she leave. A succubus of living dreams, transitions and change.
I turned to give her one last look and tell that hag to leave me. She then tapped the glass three agonizingly slow times, stealing my very breath and faded from my sight. Somehow I know she’s still there, just hiding from my minds eye. Though now, I felt lighter – anxiety slipped away with her being and into the moonlight where nothing cannot be illuminated, she seemed to have taken the delusion out of my mental illusion.
It was at that moment I found clarity, clarity in the sunset earlier that day, acceptance within the many personal deaths you endure through your physical life – I found myself within the moon lit hag at my darkened window tonight. Having taken the part of my being that lingered in the negatives she requested my heart be peaceful at the expense of never having felt whole in her endless void. I will not be a beckoning transparency of forlorn unrequited existence – outside looking in someone else’s window hoping to be a harbinger for change. Though she terrified me, she made me feel alive tonight.
They say a banshee brings with her an omen for change, for better or for worse she woke me, if tomorrow never comes, I’ll know I’ve escaped the mental fate that lingers outside my dark door.