Some days she found she was feeling a bit more ‘creepy’ than usual. Not in the sense of being a creep or mentally choosing to feel creeped by others, but an overall, all encompassing, down to the toes vibe that followed her around like a shadow in a dimly lit room.
Most of the time she found it tolerable and then other days, like today – well, picture your shadow coming alive and emanating from a dark place you try never to dwell.
From an unhealed, overlooked akashic record buried deep in your mind’s abyss. Slinking unseen during broad daylight and in the evening finding this being of swirling thoughts and unsurfaced actions embodied and attached at your heel like a black bed sheet flipping in the wind.
She felt this feeling intensified further around a full moons or late at night, alone, by herself. Go figure. She would always find herself needing to sage herself and her home in a frenzy to feel at ease for as long as she can remember.
Not that that flipping and tossing of this energy was necessarily negative but that it lurked…Waiting for the guard to be set aside during sleep hours to deliver its messages via obscure dreams and lack of direction to correction.
Each night a new sheet draped over the bed post in her room. A new journey to decipher the mind’s latest post-it note.
This particular evening – she decided to sit out on the step and contemplate her seemingly paralyzed thought processes of the day while under the stars. Millions of eyes watching, waiting, and absorbing entertainment from decades of life on earth.
Moon set to wane in the wake of dusty clouds threatening to block out its sliver of silver sky shine. Spacing out and peering into the woods from the safety of the step – she felt as tho the trees and hidden lives were looking back into her, knowing she was there and in tune – and caring – but keeping their distance for fear of being caught up in the human storm.
An eerie feeling to feel darkness returning your glare with the same intensity that the human mind can fear it.
In the back of the yard she noticed a shining… Something glinting like a beacon signalling her to come a little closer… Why must everything beckon?
Come hither, come near and find your answer, defy the spear.
She decided she would be brave, though childhood experiences would scream at her insides not to go over to the wood line. Not tonight… Not with your creeping bed sheet.
She shook off that distress and made her way to the beacon – the closer she got the further it seemed to be deeper into the woods, yeah, like a siren waking for her lost lover at sea. This was her seeking her answers.
“That’s odd”, she thought, still taking that step where the light couldn’t reach. Looking back at the dimly lit porch and realizing the night was very silent, and standing within that stillness, she felt upon her back a shiver that reached from her neck to her heels – she wasn’t alone out here and it wasn’t an animal, and it was real.
Remembering past dreams of moonlit children holding hands in the distance she had a moment of minds eye panic.
Her mind was her biggest fan.
She looked back for the glint and it was nowhere to be seen. Lost in thought her mind reeled and every possible scenario played – heart beat instantly beginning a terrible anxious rhythm to begin an endless spiral into a not so familiar nightmare – like a parade coming to march her straight into the woods and carry her off in a body bag to another world.
She turned to run back to the safe comfort of the dim step light when she felt the arm like tendrils around her waist in a terrible tangle of cold clammy goosebumps and breathing, seething web of wisp like beings lit up only by the cloud covered crescent moon.
Night watchman of life’s gates? Children of the nights opalescent light? A mass of energetic erratic thoughts overwhelming a confused and scared but ‘oh so brave’ little girl? Keepers of a gate she’s come so close to unlatching each night within sleep realms but never passes over the threshold.
A child on the precipice of fully living and loving as an unscarred adult in a world where judgments and selfish denial are prevalent. She screamed and thrashed and fell to her knees and there was that glinting, precious sliver of solitude that brought her here to begin with…
She realized she would now follow that beacon into the other world and it would light the way always reflecting that which was within.
The beings at her back, smoke like fingers delving deep into her mind she picked up that tiny piece of reflection and gazed at, setting it upon her tongue she swallowed it’s sharp luminescence.
It would cut, sting and tear her open from the inside on its way to her core but the beings behind her would vanish – and all was still.
She had taken the step to wash that soiled darkened bed sheet and left it out to dry in the sun.